An Affair to Reconsider

Hello. May I speak with Mini Robin Eggs, please.

How dare you jump into my shopping cart! Then you make your way from my trunk to my kitchen. Ugh, the disgust! Wrangling your way into my lap while I watch mindless tv is just repulsive. Who would do such a thing? Even your popcorn-coattail-riding brother, plain 'ol Whoppers, would not take advantage of a woman with child. Just because you have a delusional pastel outer shell and a hint of chocolate doesn't mean you are not that bad for me. Your are much, much worse!

Although you are only half eaten I have every intention of tossing you in the trash...or giving you to the neighbor kids. How would you like that, huh? Yeah, didn't think so.

What? Whats that? American Idol is on tonight? At 8:00? Oh, and you want to watch it with me? Snuggling? Yes, that sounds nice, but... You promise, not too many? I don't know.... That's sweet. O.k. Hmmm hm, see you then.

Dammit.